In complete irony the same activity that gave you your little bundle of joy can be painful, daunting, and scary postpartum. I’ve reached the age where the majority of my friends have one or more babies and our group text is rife with complaints about the post baby “bounce back”. If 100% of my girlfriends have complained of pain or aversion to sex post baby I assumed that most women have some concerns about it.
Why Postpartum Pain during Intimacy Occurs
Well, there’s the obvious: you just pushed a human out of a place that is normally a whole heck of a lot smaller than a baby. If you had a C-section, your doctor had to surgically create an opening to deliver your baby. If you had an episiotomy or perineal tearing, residual scar tissue can restrict your abdomen and pelvis making intercourse feel painful. In addition, your life just got a whole lot more complicated. You’re now the caretaker for a little miracle and your mind may be on your fragile new baby instead of getting it on with your hubby. Thoughts and distractions can be a powerful libido killer. Lastly, your body is just not the same as it was pre-baby hormone wise. While breastfeeding, your estrogen plummets, and the hormone level in the vagina may be lowered while your whole body focuses on making enough milk for your baby.
How to Overcome Postpartum Pain during Intimacy
- Firstly, if you had a c-section or episiotomy, self-massage of the vaginal area can be a helpful tool for breaking up scar tissue that may be causing pain. Tips: be gentle with yourself! Don’t rub over the scar but simply hold pressure on the area of discomfort for 5 seconds and then try to move the skin around the incision. Don’t be shy! You can even have your partner gently massage where the perineal or episotomy scar is located if you’re working on an episiotomy scar.
- Next , when attempting intercourse, use lubrication. Low estrogen levels lead to a lower libido, which means less arousal and less lubrication in the vaginal tissue, and even thinner, more brittle tissue. If you’re into the natural stuff even coconut oil will do. Otherwise try any over the counter kind you like. Your MD may even prescribe a topical cream with some estrogen to help the vaginal tissue bounce back.
- So you’re lubed up and ready to go…what next? Try different sexual positions, such as being on top of your partner, so you are better to control the depth and speed of penetration. Remember: everyone heals differently. There’s no rush, and you need to communicate with your partner what feels good and what doesn’t.
- Last tip: don’t forget that you can still get pregnant during postpartum healing.
If you feel like working through the suggestions in this blog on your own is too daunting or you feel like you need professional help, let your MD or physical therapist know. At EMH physical therapy we can help. We specialize in women’s health including any issues that occur post-partum. You deserve to feel like “you” again, so you can be the best mom for that new baby!