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Painful sex? Check out our helpful tips about what you can do to help!

If you’re having pain during sex, try the following tips:

You should have a consult with a pelvic floor physical therapist for training on positioning and how to use a set of vaginal dilators:

They are used to stretch the vaginal tissue, facilitate pelvic muscle relaxation and prepare for intercourse.

If you are able to have penetrative sex:

  • Practice breathing techniques or stretching prior to intercourse
  • You may want to begin with clitoral stimulation to increase natural lubrication and vaginal expansion prior to insertion
  • You can use the dilator with your partner if you feel comfortable as a way to transition from medical to sexual use of dilator. This practice can help prepare you for engaging in sexual intercourse and help you both come to understand the challenge of the healing process and develop skills for working together as a team
  • The transition from plastic dilators to a partner’s penis is often an exciting step for a couple. To make the transition, your partner has to learn a passive role, letting you control the insertion and then just resting inside the vagina for a while. In time you can expand this exercise to permit insertion by the male of his own penis, clitoral stimulation, some thrusting and experimentation with different positions.
  • Use plenty of lubricant and use one that is water soluble
  • Apply ice or frozen blue gel pack wrapped in one layer of a hand towel to relieve burning after intercourse. Frozen peas or corn in a small sealed plastic bag mold comfortably to vulvar anatomy.

Keep in mind that intercourse isn’t always 100% comfortable. Temporary tugs and pressures are often just part of getting started. If some minor discomfort exists, try moving ahead anyway – but if obvious pain persists, don’t ignore it, stop. If you encounter unexpected difficulty, you may want to practice with the dilators some more before attempting intercourse again. Continued dilator use may be necessary from time to time, to keep the vaginal area relaxed and comfortable.

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